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crys, she/her, 18+

on dreamwidth i mostly talk about kpop RPF (nct dream & zerobaseone), writing fic, movie/book opinions, skincare/makeup, travel logs, knitting, and more. if any of that interests you please feel free to comment on the relevant post! i usually publish posts to everyone and then lock them a week later, but i do respond to all comments and am happy to grant/trade access on request if you message me here. no hard feelings if you decide later on that you're not interested and unsubscribe/remove access!

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another year later

skincare

CLEANSER: skin1004 madagascar centella light cleansing oil🌌 — standard generic oil cleanser but i will say that this is on the thinner side (hence i like it more). the only reason i wouldn't repurchase is that something is wrong with the pump(?) so it doesn't dispense properly... that might just be a defect with my specific one. but the cleanser itself is fine
CLEANSER: b.lab matcha hydrating foam cleanser 🌅🌌 — WE'RE BACK... honestly perfect outstanding amazing incredible etc etc. bought 2 tubes for $9 so no one is doing it like her for real
ACTIVE: isntree chestnut bha 🌌 — unfortunately this isn't doing anything for me :/ it might just be that it's not strong enough(?) because i'm using it every not and still not getting much out of it. but also AHAs definitely work better for me than BHAs so maybe it's that... unfortunately paula's choice is worth shelling out for!
TONER: glow recipe watermelon glow PHA/BHA toner 🌅🌌 — yes i used this day and night in spite of the actives. i got this as a sephora birthday gift sample ages ago so i just used it up during various trips... pretty sticky & very strongly scented but it did the job. i wouldn't buy this personally though
MOISTURIZER: dr. g red blemish clear soothing cream🌅🌌 — i remember really liking this when i first tried it but now i'm like ehhhh it's nothing special... moisturizers in general are boring so like. i think this is worth it only if your skin is sensitive/other moisturizers are breaking you out. i still like it but i can get something similar for much cheaper!
MOISTURIZER: innisfree green tea seed HA cream🌅🌌 — got this as a sephora birthday gift x2 so i wouldn't buy it myself but it works fine. very strong perfume-esque scent... didn't irritate my skin but could be a problem if sensitive
MOISTURIZER: cell fusion C calming down cream🌅🌌 — got this as a gift from L! it's scented but not as strongly as other ones & i like the scent (fresh/clean). the packaging is sooo deceptive though so i don't think you get enough bang for your buck even though it works well/is generally more moisturizing
MOISTURIZER: aestura ato barrier cream 🌅🌌 — using this for the first time was the most devastating moment of my life for real. IT'S JUST THAT GOOD... yes it's a thick basic boring winter cream etc etc but the aestura is sooo much more cosmetically elegant than the illiyoon one. i used to not know wtf people meant when they said that but after using this i get it. the illiyoon is just kind of waxy/feels like it sits on top of your face sometimes... the aestura sinks in super fast and just feels really good. extremely devastating info to have because that price is not wallet-friendly. and it's now being sold in sephora so it's only going to get worse from here :/
SUNSCREEN: isehan sun killer perfect essence sunscreen 🌅 — bought this after using shakti's in new york because teso life was selling it at $8 for 2... LITTLE DID I KNOW!!!! seriously the perfect sunscreen to me (lemon-scented, sinks in fast yet no alcohol, moisturizing) so it's a shame that it costs so fucking much elsewhere!!!! i should've stocked up when i had the chance...

makeup

okay i'm a lot better at makeup now. and i actually wear it almost daily unless it's the weekend or something. i also bought a ton more so now i have options:

mistine silky flawless concealer in 01 — yes i bought this solely because zhang hao was advertising it. but honestly i'm really glad that i did i had no idea what a difference peach concealer makes to your under eyes. my only complaint is that it's a tad thick/cakey, and also that the yellow shade is wayyyyy too bright to use. but considering i paid like $2 for this i'm not mad
purlisse perfect glow BB concealer in light & too faced born this way concealer in swan — just trying to use these up... the purlisse is way too dark for me even after tanning and i'm too lazy to mix it so now i just suffer. the too faced is a tad too pale for me but still works fine if i'm careful
about tone blur powder pact in #21 light — i use this to set concealer and admittedly i don't have anything else to compare it to (aside from the missha i was using before, but that one's white so it's not good for makeup) but i really like this! does the job perfectly. i don't use the cushion puff it comes with because i found that it was applying too much and making me look super matte but if you like that look then that's also an option. i use a brush and just lightly dust it under my eyes/wherever else i put concealer. my only complaint is that i've been using it for 3 months and i'm already close to hitting pan on it... i wish it lasted longer
judydoll starlight highlighter in 01 & urban decay naked flushed palette in naked — i use the judydoll highlighter on my inner corners & cheeks because it's slightly gold so it blends in pretty nicely with my skin, and then i use the urban decay highlighter on the outer edge of my undereyes because it's rose gold. i really like both! but i would prefer if the urban decay was cooler
romand better than eyes quad in dry buckwheat flower & wakemake soft blurring eye palette in bluecore blurring — still the only two eye palettes i own because i really can't be bothered to do eyeshadow on a daily basis. i like doing it for events but that's kind of it. the wakemake one is still perfect to me and in fact i now like the column of grays which i previously thought were too warm. like no actually they're perfect now. but the romand palette looks terrible on me... i think i just hate how browns look! it's neutral but winds up pretty warm on me so i'm not a fan
fwee mellow dual blush in follow me RD01 — love this blush <3 i have to be kind of careful with it because it's very pigmented on me but both shades look really good. the red looks natural and the pink more brightening. i wear the pink during spring/fall/winter and then red in the summer because the red's payoff is a little too much for me lol. i'm glad i picked the shade i did but i do think it's a little bright for me...
peripera pure blushed sunshine cheek in 24 mauve cream — this has a similar texture to the fwee one but it's more smooth? less bouncy/putty-like. i like the texture of the fwee one more but the color of the peripera one... this is a really nice mauve pink on me
judydoll glazed blush in 05 plain embryo — really beautiful embossing but i don't actually use this blush too much... this is a nude shade so it's nice if i want to look like i'm wearing nothing. but i never feel that way so i only ended up using this around my grandparents because i didn't want comments on wearing makeup lol
judydoll blush in 52 salty bubble & 68 sleeping grape — the blue is supposed to be a base but i actually like it better as a matte highlighter for eyeshadow so i don't use this as blush. the purple one i really like the shade of it but i have to layer it quite a bit to get it to show up and at that point the white base in it becomes too obvious, so i actually use this to "set" the fwee/peripera blushes
muzigae mansion fitting blush in 01 odd — gift from shakti <3 i use this on top of other powder blushes if i want the shade to be cooler. unfortunately it's a bit too white to use on its own
house of hur moist ampoule blush in 04 lavender flush — dudeeee this one is so disappointing because the finish is great but the color is not it!!! in the bottle it's this really nice lavender mauve but when it's actually applied it just looks like a generic rosy pink 💔 also i have to apply this with a brush because if i use my fingers then it disrupts the concealer underneath 💔

usually i just do concealer/blush/highlighter/powder, but i'll do eyeliner & setting spray too if i'm going out. i no longer do my brows... my natural ones are dark enough so i feel like they're fine. and then i don't like the look of bronzer/i'm too lazy to contour so i don't. i also don't wear mascara simply because the process of taking it off is way too much... in general if it can't be applied with fingers then i'm much less likely to use it. also learned that i like dewy finishes more than matte ones, and since my skin's slightly dry i don't look too greasy with it. also i think darker colors look better on me... though the jury is still out on that.

makeup i'm eyeing

properly dark berry/purple blush — preferably cream, though i'm not too picky on that. this is a surprisingly difficult ask though like why is the only option that's coming close the rhode blush in plum! yes it would pain me to drop $24 on a blush but i do think i need to look at western beauty for a shade like this
blue & purple highlighter — OFRA SPACE BABY YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO OBTAIN... and also way too expensive. and then ameli neon orchid is even more impossible to obtain (not available on global oliveyoung so i think i'd have to buy it in-person in korea)
liquid highlighter — still undecided on whether i want this or not because the reviews on the rare beauty/saie ones say that it can be patchy
some kind of pressed setting powder — charlotte tillbury seems to be the most popular but ummm it's kind of expensive... but then the givenchy is even more expensive???? i just need to find some easily available equivalent to the about tone one now that tariffs are a thing. and it has to be good for dry skin... which is a tough ask
concealer — dior concealer you are so expensive but somehow so perfect. i'll cave once my other two are gone
peach concealer — i have the luna one lined up as a backup but i think i'll need to try non-asian ones soon because of tariffs
dewy setting spray — i'm currently using the nyx one but it's not really dewy at all? i think i'll get the milani one next but after that i'm not sure what else to try

if anyone has recs for the things listed above please let me know 🙏

almost a year later

skincare

CLEANSER: isntree yam root milk cleanser 🌅🌌 — i like milk cleansers wayyyyy more than i thought i would honestly. the only problem is that i started using this right as i started wearing makeup and thus it did not suit my purposes (getting light makeup off). but if i only wore sunscreen then this was perfect
CLEANSER: rovectin skin essentials activating conditioning cleanser 🌅🌌 — super generic scentless gel cleanser so while it works fine im bored of it already.
ACTIVE: the ordinary lactic acid 🌌 — talented brilliant incredible amazing rest of the lady gaga meme etc etc. you already know <3
TONER: cosrx propolis toner 🌅🌌 — my skin really likes propolis so i knew this was going to be good, but it's strangely overpriced compared to the rest of the line so i think the overnight mask is my favorite form of it still. super thick as a toner btw, so it doesn't work really well with makeup in the day but is great for night time
TONER: torriden dive-in toner 🌅🌌 — kind of expected more given the hype but it's just generic watery HA toner. personally i like the hada labo ones better though i couldn't really tell you why
ESSENCE: kose sekkisei emulsion 🌅🌌 — my mom got gifted this and pawned it off on me and i was like well... okay then? i wasn't expecting much given that it's expensive and heavily perfumed but holy shittttt why was this actually perfect... just the right amount of moisturizing without feeling heavy and it made my skin super glowy...... i still have one more bottle that i'm saving for winter because i certainly cannot afford this on my own right now lmao
ESSENCE: mary & may blackberry cream essence 🌅🌌 — this is a cheaper substitute for the dr ceuracle kombucha essence and in that respect it's pretty good like it's the same kind of product and it does the same mix of hydrate/moisturize. but the dr ceuracle makes me more glowy for sure so alas i will have to go back to it
MOISTURIZER: cosrx rice overnight mask 🌅🌌 — sorry shakti i really wanted to like this... but i just like the propolis version better. the propolis is more gel-like/stickier and thus more hydrating, whereas this is lighter/more oily and thus more moisturizing
MOISTURIZER: illiyoon ceramide ato cream 🌅🌌 — boring basic thick winter moisturizer pulls through once again <3 like i really don't think i'll ever stop buying this
SUNSCREEN: beauty of joseon relief sun 🌅 — omg i really thought i'd like this given it's the exact same base as the round lab one but this actually made me BREAK OUT and i have no idea why given that almost nothing makes me break out. so unfortunately this one did not work out for me
SUNSCREEN: isntree HA watery sun gel 🌅 — sooooo shiny. like it's fine and did the job but the shine was seriously a bit much
SUNSCREEN: skin1004 madagascar waterfit sun serum 🌅 — i'm not a huge fan of the pump system but i do have to say that the formula is good... not shiny and also definitely the least sunscreen-esque sunscreen that i've ever used

makeup

to preface this section i am not someone who wears makeup basically ever... i hate having more stuff on my face than i absolutely need to have (ie skincare) and therefore why it's so important to me that my skincare sinks in fast and doesn't just sit on top of my face (unless it's night time and then i don't care as much). thus i don't really use foundations (either liquid or cushion) and even though my dark circles can be pretty bad sometimes it is sooo hard to get myself to wear concealer... also paired with the fact that i still haven't really found the right shade. but i got more into makeup this year because i had a ton of formal events that i wanted to look good for and thus crash coursed myself accordingly. going to do this roughly in order:

missha airy pot pact — this is just to make myself less shiny from sunscreen. so i do use this daily if necessary
too faced born this way concealer in swan — bought this wayyyyy back in freshman year at my roommates' recommendation... ummm i still don't really know if this shade is correct because sometimes it looks so pale that i'm like no way i'm that shade... but then it looks mostly fine on my face? i can't tell if i'm just not used to seeing myself wear concealer and thus that contrast is throwing me off or if this shade is really just too light for me
purlisse perfect glow BB concealer in light — again this was given to my mom and then pawned off to me. it's weirdly gray but it's definitely darker than the too faced one so i just mix the two for my summer shade and that seems to be working fine
maybelline brow sculpt eyebrow gel in warm brown — random brow gel that i use to hide my eyebrow slit... truly was flabbergasted when it became a trend like what do you mean the natural eyebrow slit scar i gave myself by knocking myself out on my bedframe when i was four is now TRENDY
peripera speedy skinny browcara in dark brown — i thought this would be more precise but omg the angled brush is killing me. it's definitely a better color match but still
marc jacobs highliner gel eyeliner in brown out — well apparently this is discontinued now but my mom got gifted this back when i was in middle school and it was just the only eyeliner i had for a long time... i thought it was fine? i didn't realize there was a sharpener on the back for years and years though so i thought it was weirdly thick for a long time
bbia last auto gel eyeliner in jazz — this is definitely thinner/easier to control so i like it a lot more but also it's just like... generic eyeliner
hourglass caution extreme lash mascara — once again originally gifted to my mom and then me. i didn't know you had to toss mascara after like 6 months so i used this for years and thought it was super terrible until i finally learned. i still think it's crazy expensive for mascara though
clio kill lash superproof mascara volume curling — i don't know if my eyes are just weird but i couldn't make this work for me... it just made my lashes super spidery and stiff. but maybe that's also on me for getting volume curling and not long curling... oh well
romand han fix all mascara in long ash — i like the color and it definitely works a lot better for me! i don't wear mascara often enough to have strong opinions though
urban decay naked flushed palette in naked — was originally gifted to my mom and then me part 3? 4? either way this is a bronzer/highlighter/blush palette that ummmm i'm sure is quality but unfortunately terrible shade-wise on me. the bronzer is too warm and orange and the blush is a really dark pink that's not flattering. the only thing i use from this is the highlighter, which is admittedly good
romand better than eyes quad in dry buckwheat flower — formula is very nice and buttery but the middle shade is warmer than i expected lowkey... also i wish the glitter wasn't gold but oh well. i'm glad i have it regardless
wakemake soft blurring eye palette in bluecore blurring — BEAUTIFUL... i thought the price was kind of crazy at first but no one else is doing these kinds of cool pinks/purples/blues so i went ahead and got it. and it seriously paid off sooooo well i'm obsessed with the blue glitter and i truly used all the shades so much every time i had to go out. my only complaint is that the last column of grays is weirdly warm-toned but even then it's a small complaint
romand better than cheek blush in blueberry chip — this is really nice and i like that it's not super pigmented but it's also warmer than i expected! like i keep having to put white eyeshadow on underneath first to get the color i want. it does make for a very nice daily color on its own though. my only complaint is that it doesn't last very long... after a couple of hours i can definitely notice that there's much less on skin afterwards
nyx dewy finish setting spray — bought this at shakti's rec and i'm not sure what it is doing to be quite honest but i am dutifully spraying regardless
i also have a lot of lip stuff... but i'm seriously too lazy to go through it lmao

makeup i'm eyeing

fwee mellow dual blusher in love me highkey, icy cupid — i've wanted to try the fwee blushers for a while but i could never decide which shade... so i'm glad they came out with these duo ones so that i can try all three (love me light, highkey happiness, and hush cupid) of the ones i was most interested in!
glint baked blush in cotton melts — i figure since i'm putting white eyeshadow underneath my blush anyways i might as well try to get a dedicated blue blush for that purpose instead
- i'm waiting for the new dasique blending mood cheek shade to release though because it looks like it has peach/pink/purple/blue shades which would be perfect... though i'm a little eh on dasique stuff because it seems too white and chalky in all the swatches. we'll see
about tone blur powder pact — i keep seeing people rave about this so i want to try... and i'm curious about what difference tinted VS clear/white powder makes anyways
peripera v highlighter in clear flash — i want a highlighter palette but those seem pretty rare and only this one really has the shades i'm looking for (white, pink, and blue). part of me is like do i even use highlighter often enough to warrant this! but another part of me is like well yes...

if anyone has any other recommendations for blush/highlighter/setting powder/anything else i am certainly open to them! i'm looking for cooler-toned stuff if that isn't obvious by now... and also ideally multiple colors/shades in one product

just a quick update

currently & empties

OIL CLEANSER: beauty of joseon ginseng cleansing oil 🌌 — very funny that they tout the ginseng in this when it mostly relies on soybean oil but deceptive marketing aside it works fine... i appreciate that the pump locks for travel but it's nothing special imo
CLEANSER: round lab birch juice moisturizing cleanser 🌅🌌 — no longer dealing with exfoliating grits <333 this is a perfectly serviceable gel cleanser i like it quite a lot! and so does my little brother who is constantly stealing it away from me...
ACTIVE: the ordinary lactic acid 🌌 — literally so sorry for forsaking you i always come back to you in the end. perfect aha for real
TONER: anua heartleaf soothing toner 🌅🌌 — not sure why this is so hyped considering it's just a basic toner to me... it's very watery and i'm sure it does indeed soothe but that's not really what i'm looking for in toners unfortunately. the nice thing is that it's very cheap when looking at price to size ratio so i can't complain too much
ESSENCE: cosrx 96 snail mucin 🌅🌌 — working through my last bottle of this... what else is there to say. i do want to look for other stuff though because i don't think this plays super well under makeup
SERUM: tiam vita b3 source serum 🌅🌌 — niacinamide & arbutin serum; i'm personally not seeing anything with this one so i think i can give up on using niacinamide as a standalone product once and for all. i do think this is a better formulation than the TO niacinamide serum though so if you're looking for one i do rec this
MOISTURIZER: dr ceuracle vegan kombucha tea gel cream 🌅🌌 — nothing in the world compares to the glow that this gives omg... like if i thought the essence was glowy this is infinitely more so. but i don't plan on repurchasing because it's just too much glow... also it takes a bit to dry down and before it does so it's a little tacky. and i didn't find it moisturizing enough sometimes
MOISTURIZER: isntree HA aqua gel cream 🌅🌌 — okay i bought this kind of on a whim because i just was trying to meet the free shipping quota and also i was worried i'd run out of moisturizer before summer was over. and i'm glad i did because i did indeed run out earlier than i expected but also this fulfills pretty much all my criteria: perfectly moisturizing but not too heavy, dries down fast but is still substantial, & leaves a very natural finish <3 like it's just a basic moisturizer. but it's perfect to me
SUNSCREEN: round lab birch juice moisturizing sunscreen 🌅 — still working through this one... i go through sunscreen so slowly

up next

and then i replenished my backlog because i was already starting to run out of stuff i needed. ⟲ denotes any repurchases

OIL CLEANSER: skin 1004 madagascar centella light cleansing oil — just shopping around for an oil cleanser i might like
CLEANSER: isntree yam root milk cleanser — i'm a little worried about my skin getting dry in the winter so i figure instead of double cleansing it might make sense to just use a milk cleanser instead... will be giving this a go then
⟲ CLEANSER: b.lab matcha hydrating foam cleanser — CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK TO YOU... HOW I'VE MISSED THE PERFECT SMELL OF MATCHA!
ACTIVE: isntree chestnut bha — currently in the market for a bha so this seemed promising
ACTIVE: isntree chestnut aha — yes i know i was just extolling the virtues of TO lactic acid. but i figured i'd test the aha from this line alongside the bha
TONER: skin 1004 madagascar centella toner — they had an insane deal on this for $3 so i had to. but i'm not expecting much from this toner tbh
TONER: cosrx propolis toner — this one i have high hopes for <3 my skin does really well with propolis so this should work quite well!
ESSENCE: mary & may blackberry cream essence — this is supposedly a dupe for the dr ceuracle essence and it's a bit cheaper so i want to see if it's comparable
⟲ MOISTURIZER: illiyoon ato concentrate cream — perfect basic thick cream for winter strikes again <3
MOISTURIZER: dr. g red blemish clear soothing cream — tried this at a friend's house and was genuinely pained by how much i liked it because this is not cheap... but if it really is that good then i guess i will have to start shelling out T_____T
MOISTURIZER: cosrx snail 92 AIO cream — going to use this as an extra layer at night since this doesn't work so well alone anyways
MOISTURIZER: cosrx rice overnight mask — trying this at shakti's rec since i enjoyed their other mask so much
SUNSCREEN: skin 1004 madagascar waterfit sun serum — this is insanely highly rated so i just want to see how it compares to other sunscreens i enjoy

+ some other misc beauty things:

romand han all fix mascara — unpopular opinion but i wasn't too impressed with the clio mascara so i'm going to give this a try
peripera speedy skinny browcara — i'm just running out of my current brow thing...
missha airy pot pact — i use this to tamp down any dewiness from moisturizer/sunscreen, which it works quite well for
laneige lip sleeping mask — TREATED MYSELF <3 this smells so good and also better than the strawberry lemonade one when i tested it in store so i'm glad i got this one instead <3 i do want to give the mango flavor a go as well... but that'll have to wait

finally making a dent in my massive haul

not dividing into morning/night anymore i'll just go down the list in order of application and use 🌅 and 🌌 to distinguish

OIL CLEANSER: beauty of joseon radiance cleansing balm 🌌 — this is the complete opposite of the heimish balm by which i mean the actual cleanser itself is great (little to no scent, melts perfectly, works fine, pretty cheap) but the packaging sucks so much!!! why do i have to unscrew the entire top off if i want to preserve the little slip of plastic that separates the scoop and the balm... what is the point of having a flip-top lid then. at this point i really might buy the heimish one again just for the sake of transfering this over into its packaging.
CLEANSER: round lab soybean cleanser 🌅🌌 — grateful to use something that doesn't sting my eyes anymore but i am somewhat annoyed at the little exfoliating grits in here :/ they don't really do anything for me and they aren't irritating but they do get everywhere.
ACTIVE: paula's choice 2% BHA 🌌 — i take back what i said before turns out this thing is working as it should. i think it's just that i benefit more from AHAs than BHAs.
TONER: round lab soy bean nourishing toner 🌅🌌 — talented brilliant incredible amazing showstopping spectacular etc etc. it is indeed nourishing! i think what i like so much about it is the fact that it's a watery toner but it's hydrating AND moisturizing... obviously the ratio is a bit like 70:30 but it does make a difference because my skin feels plump.
ESSENCE: dr. ceuracle vegan kombucha essence 🌌 — also talented brilliant incredible amazing showstopping spectacular etc etc. a little upset i like this so much because it's expensive and i only bought it bc it was on sale... but i really might have to shell out for this every winter. this is a more even 50:50 balance of hydrating to moisturizing which is great because it means i can use a less heavy moisturizer and therefore not absolutely clog my face in cream. i don't really know if it's doing anything re:brightening but the other benefits are so good i could care less.
SERUM: beauty of joseon glow serum 🌅🌌 — this is just propolis & niacinamide but i liked it quite a lot... i think propolis just works really well for me. it's thicker and kind of goopy but sinks in fast compared to the cosrx propolis overnight mask. i think the mask is the better bang for buck but the serum is nicer to use.
SERUM: beauty of joseon glow deep serum 🌅🌌 — this one is rice & alpha arbutin and even though its ingredients are comparatively "fancier" i don't like this one as much :/ it's just not really doing anything. the texture is watery but because i use one syringe-full each time it's not even doing much in way of hydration either. definitely prefer the glow to the glow deep but tbh i don't think either of these are all that special. it's only really good if you know propolis/alpha arbutin works really well for you and you want a super simple version of that.
MOISTURIZER: illiyoon ceramide ato concentrate cream 🌅🌌 — this is indeed a perfect basic boring thick cream, which is all i'm really asking from it <3 the finish is more dewy than i'd like but it does the job and seals everything in very well. i'd say it feels kind of waxy? like i wake up the next morning and it's definitely still there on my face but it's still a lot more preferable to the greasy finish of etude house 2x barrier cream.
SUNSCREEN: round lab birch juice moisturizing sunscreen 🌅 — holy shit guys i did not know sunscreen could be this good. like i understand what people mean when they say something's cosmetically elegant now because this is it. the finish is still a bit dewier than i'd like but other than that it's perfect to me. it dries fast sinks in well is virtually scentless and feels like it would take makeup well :')

this one's for you shakti <3

morning

CLEANSER: cow brand cleansing foam — oh my god my #1 enemy for real!!! i got so lucky with cleansers never stinging my eyes that i forgot they, in theory, could do that. anyways not only did this sting my eyes but it also was definitely kind of drying :/

TONER: manyo bifida biome complex toner — i think this in combination with the ampoule and cosrx sleeping mask has been working wonders on my skin (in that it's the softest it's ever been i think) but i don't think the toner itself is all that special

AMPOULE: manyo bifida biome complex ampoule — completely understand why this one is so highly rated... unfortunately i do think it's worth the hype. like i used to never understand people who were like "oh my skin GLOWS!" because i always thought they just meant they looked "dewy" or whatever... and really people only look dewy right after doing skincare (ie while your skin's still wet). but ummmm this do be giving me a subtle glow. trying not to get too used to it though because my budget cannot afford this on the daily

MOISTURIZER: cosrx propolis honey overnight mask — LITERALLY SO SORRY FOR UNDERESTIMATING YOU BEFORE!!! i thought this was kind of just a generic gel but i like it so much because it's thick and it feels like it actually sinks in... and it is seriously incredible for making sure everything gets absorbed well. not the greatest in the daytime because it's kind of shiny but my sunscreen makes me shiny anyways so it's whatever. i genuinely do want to use this year round at nighttime though it's that good... dare i say HG

SUNSCREEN: nivea super water gel — still working through this bottle... it is indeed very cost-effective

night

OIL CLEANSER: heimish all clean balm — i'm so mad that i hate this because it's perfectly effective pretty cheap comparatively has the best packaging ever etc etc... but my biggest problem is that i can't stand the SMELL of this thing. it's like this sharp fresh medicine/herb scent which drives me crazy... i don't even know why. i literally like everything else about it but what is the point when there is stuff out there that smells like MATCHA!

CLEANSER: cow brand cleansing foam

ACTIVE: n/a — unfortunately my skin got so wrecked by skiing that it can't handle any actives right now... i tried when i came back and instantly my entire face started burning. it's just really dry right now (even though i was so diligent about slathering myself in cream over there?) so im waiting for that to die down before i go back to my beloved lactic acid <3

TONER: manyo bifida biome complex toner

AMPOULE: manyo bifida biome complex ampoule

MOISTURIZER: etude house 2x barrier cream — another dearly detested one... i don't even understand why this is so evil to me because it is the most basic boring cream imaginable out there. but i hated the twist cap and also how greasy it felt, plus i think it was just too thick for me :/ i understand that it'd leave a barrier regardless because that's what it was supposed to do but it just felt like leaving gunk on my face all night... i'm sure drier skin would enjoy this.

up next

so i went a little crazy during single's day & black friday sales on jolse... in my defense all of this together did not cost thaaaat much & it was my birthday & im going to use it all within the next year or so. yes. anyways by category:

OIL CLEANSER: beauty of joseon radiance cleansing balm — i want to find a cleansing balm that works for me so bad

OIL CLEANSER: beauty of joseon ginseng cleansing oil — in the end though cleansing oils are just easier...

CLEANSER: round lab soybean cleanser — this is supposed to be nourishing but also a deep cleanse? so it should work well for winter

CLEANSER: round lab birch juice moisturizing cleanser — and then i'm hoping to use this in the summer

CLEANSER: rovectin skin essentials activating conditioning cleanser — this looks like the most cost-effective boring pump cleanser which is my ideal honestly <3

TONER: round lab soybean nourishing toner — going for a milky toner in winter

ESSENCE: cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin power essence — classic

ESSENCE: dr. ceuracle vegan kombucha tea essence — okay. this stuff is so expensive normally so when i saw it on sale i had to go for it... also because i figured if i had so much success with the manyo bifida ferments then this should also be similarly fruitful

SERUM: beauty of joseon glow serum — propolis & niacinamide, propolis i know i like but niacinamide i hated in the ordinary serum so i need to figure out if i hate the ingredient or just that serum

SERUM: beauty of joseon glow deep serum — rice & alpha arbutin, i liked arbutin in the hada labo shirojyun toner but saw no difference re:brightening so i'm going to test it out with this one again

SERUM: tiam vita b3 source serum — niacinamide & arbutin, at least like one of these three serums should be effective

MOISTURIZER: illiyoon ceramide ato concentrate cream — basic boring thick cream for winter that hopefully shouldn't be as maddeningly thick as the etude house one... if it is though i'll just use it up on my body

MOISTURIZER: isntree hyaluronic acid aqua gel cream — basic boring gel cream for summer... i really only got this because it was cheap and also perfectly 100mL which means it meets travel requirements <3

MOISTURIZER: dr. ceuracle vegan kombucha tea gel cream — this came as a set with the essence and like. i certainly do not mind having another gel cream

SUNSCREEN: beauty of joseon relief sun — cream sunscreen i am coming for you...

SUNSCREEN: round lab birch juice moisturizing sunscreen — supposedly this and the beauty of joseon sunscreen are extremely similar (same base and everything) so i just want to know if i have a preference or not

SUNSCREEN: isntree hyaluronic acid watery sun gel — a light one for summer... though because it's a gel i think i am still going to look extremely shiny. oh well

confined to my bed rn and can't do work anyways so i might as well update the skincare routine

morning

CLEANSER: round lab mugwort calming cleanser — went back to using a cleanser in the morning because... um. i don't know. anyways the mugwort smell is more present in the cleanser than the moisturizer but the cleanser itself is definitely a lot softer/finer than the b.lab one even if nothing can compare to the smell of matcha. perfectly serviceable tho!

TONER: hada labo shirojyun lotion moist — incredible showstopping amazing wonderful etc etc. sorry lady gaga for butchering your line. but this stuff is actually magical part 2... i'm glad i switched to this for summer because it's thinner than the gokujyun but does the exact same thing somehow <3 i will say though that i have no idea whether this "brightens" or not because i didn't notice anything. but also i don't really have dark spots/pigmentation for it to brighten so... probably not the best person to test this part of it.

ESSENCE: cosrx advanced snail 96 power mucin — you already know.

MOISTURIZER: round lab birch juice cream — hmmm well i like gels because they're super light on your skin but creams definitely tend to hydrate more/sink in better so i thought a gel cream would be a good solution... and it definitely is! this is light, still sinks in (though kind of slowly imo), and works well... but i just wish it wasn't shiny. unfortunately unavoidable with anything remotely gel-like though.

SUNSCREEN: nivea super water gel — lightweight, works well, dries fast, but makes me look so incredibly shiny and also the alcohol smell is definitely strong. thankfully my skin isn't sensitive to alcohol but certainly something to be aware of. i think i'm going to go back to cream sunscreens though... i forgot how much i preferred matte finishes.

night

OIL CLEANSER: bifesta eye makeup remover — i only use this one when i'm wearing makeup so this bottle is going to last me quite a while. which is good because it gets all my waterproof mascara off perfectly <3

OIL CLEANSER: kose softymo speedy cleansing oil — yes we are STILL working on this one!!! massive bottle incredibly cheap does the job well perfect of ever... also unintentional bonus of using an oil instead of a balm is that it's super easy to use it to correct eyeliner if i mess up the shape LMAO.

CLEANSER: round lab mugwort calming cleanser

ACTIVE: paula's choice 2% BHA — i REALLY just think that BHAs aren't for me. this isn't really doing much at all for me... i'm just using it to use it up right now.

TONER: manyo bifida biome complex toner — thank you lena for carting this all the way back from korea for me <3 though unfortunately i'm not super taken by it... it has witch hazel which is def not great for skin but thankfully mine isn't bothered by it. i just don't think it's really doing anything for me :/ smells nice though!

ESSENCE: cosrx advanced snail 96 power mucin

MOISTURIZER: cosrx propolis honey overnight mask — using this as a night time moisturizer to transition between summer/fall/winter and it's very nice. definitely super hydrating and successfully locks everything in at the end of the night.

up next

OIL CLEANSER: heimish all clean balm — for real this time!!! i just completely underestimated how long using up the kose softymo speedy would take me lmao.

CLEANSER: cow brand cleansing foam — i think i like foams the most in the end... going to test out that theory with something boring and safe and reliable first though.

ACTIVE: the ordinary lactic acid — my beloved... i'm going back to you soon <3

TONER: anua heartleaf soothing toner — thank you lena part 2. high hopes for this toner considering ummm exo suho apparently recced this (NOT why i wanted this toner. i wanted it because it's supposed to work well. i swear).

ESSENCE: manyo bifida biome complex ampoule — thank you lena part 3. high hopes for this one as well because the ampoule is supposed to be the best of manyo's bifida biome line... fingers crossed that the toner is just a miss for me.

MOISTURIZER: etude house 2x barrier cream — winter here we come...

shakti@storyboxed

WHXKWWUZZ WHAT THE FHCKSKS JISUNG IS INSANE. honestly it would’ve been interesting if u just did chenle quotes and ranked his “”””haterism”””. JUST KIDDING

12:08AM · May 16, 2021 · Twitter Web App

crys@stoplight
Replying to @storyboxed

WHAT THE HELL I LITERALLY JUST MIGHT

12:09AM · May 16, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

shakti@storyboxed
Replying to @stoplight

HELP ❤️❤️ i want to see it. chenji quote ranking the sequel⁉️⁉️⁉️

12:10AM · May 16, 2021 · Twitter Web App

a quick update roughly one year later because this: "the reason why there are literally no chenle quotes in this post is because all of HIS quotes about jisung sound like they're from a jisung-anti who's really bad at being a jisung-anti" maybe doesn't give chenle enough credit <3

sequel to this post

i should preface this by saying that not only is chenle incredibly bad at processing/understanding/expressing his emotions, but also he’s even worse when compared to jisung, who is the arguably the person in dream most in tune with their emotions (renjun is a close second). so—some of the quotes below are going to be fairly generic. but they still matter because it’s chenle saying them, and chenle usually never says anything ever.

no. 10
"since jisung chose sungchan, i won't talk to jisung anymore. who's jisung?"

who said it: chenle
context: 2020 chenle's bubble — he bubbled this after he, jisung, and hendery did a vlive as part of nct 2020 promos. there’s a comment that asks jisung to choose between chenle and sungchan, and jisung keeps trying to weasel his way out of it while chenle presses him for an answer. hendery tries to mediate, and in the end jisung chooses sungchan
commentary: this is so funny to me because chenle is so incredibly petty and he 100% held this over jisung for probably the next month. he wound up doing a solo live the next day or something and chose taeil, mark, and sungchan over jisung in revenge. which is simply like… i'm sure there are healthier ways to express jealousy! but okay.

no. 9
"you might think that jisung's pretending to be innocent and naive, but he's not. he's really dumb. no one can do that all the time. he's simply dumb"

who said it: chenle
context: 2020 chenji's this and that season 2 ep 2 (trying foods they can't eat) — jisung insists on doing something by himself but is clumsy and drops everything in the process. chenle takes over, does the thing properly, and then says this
commentary: this is why i said that all of chenle's quotes sound like they're from a jisung anti who's really bad at being a jisung anti. he's insulting him but he still ultimately always does whatever jisung failed to do for him and never complains about it. your actions don't match your words!

no. 8
"i hope you always stay happy"

who said it: chenle
context: 2020 nct dream the stage — when this video first got uploaded they actually edited out chenle's message to jisung and so many people rioted that they ended up reuploading the video with the message added back in. which is truly incredible because chenle never tenderhearts verbally! the full message goes:
chenle: "you know, you've always been very hardworking"
jisung: [laughs] "okay, thanks"
chenle: "for our success... and also you worry and care a lot. thank you for that and... [laughs] you think a lot too. i hope you can think more positively. don't worry, don't worry a lot, i hope you always stay happy"
jisung: "that was really sweet"
chenle: [sighs] "cheesy..."
jisung: "i just found a new side of chenle"
commentary: was this the most embarrassing and painful moment of chenle's life? it's definitely up there. was it so embarrassing and painful because he was actually sincere? absolutely.

no. 7
"no matter what i say, since we're close, jisung knows all that i want to say"

who said it: chenle
context: 2019 allure magazine interview — the interviewer says that after seeing their youtube content, it seems like chenle's korean improved and that that improvement couldn't have been easy. chenle responds with this
commentary: this is really touching to me because it still goes on to this day… chenle will say a phrase or two, make the most aborted movement i have ever seen, and jisung will know exactly what he's trying to say every time. here are just a few examples of it

no. 6
"my first korean i learned from the person next to me"

who said it: chenle
context: 2018 huya live — i'll be honest i was too lazy to trawl through this 2 hour live to figure out when he said this/what the context was. but the quote is pretty self-explanatory honestly
commentary: this is another callback to their origin story <3 or their "운명" (fate/destiny) as mark calls it (which kills me because the LAYERS of it all but that's for another time)

no. 5
"of course it's jisung"

who said it: chenle
context: 2021 chenra — the question is "who's chenle's best friend?" and he says "that's too obvious. of course it's jisung. jisung and i have completely opposite personalities but i think we're the closest"
commentary: he goes on to say that he didn't pick mark for this question because mark is his son, which is why i'm ranking this quote lower BUT he's still quite insistent about the fact that he will always consider js his best friend :') when push comes to shove etc etc

no. 4
"do you want to be friends?"

who said it: chenle
context: 2017 mbc show! music core monitoring — they're watching their mfal stage and chenle just turns to jisung out of nowhere and says that :') and they have never used honorifics for each other ever since.
commentary: okay sorry that's a lie because jisung (who notably cares more about hierarchy/authority/etc than chenle does) still continues to slip up a bunch and only really gets consistent during we young era. it happens in an instant and it's not obvious that chenle's serious about it but he is… when asked if he ever regretted it in 2018, he says "no… i never did because becoming friends feels more comfortable"

no. 3
"'chenji is ending' my ass"

who said it: chenle
context: 2022 chenle's bubble — jisung bubbles "is this the end [of chenji's this and that]ㅋㅋㅋ / if i said this to chenle he would sulk and say 'you don't want to do it?' ㅎㅎㅎ" and chenle, who is subscribed to jisung's bubble, sees it and goes on a rampage: "does jisung have no idea that i have his bubble subscription or is he doing it on purpose or is he picking a fight or is he saying 'let's fight' to me / chenji is not over do you think it would end / 'chenji is ending' my ass how is that possible"
commentary: i laughed SOOOOOO hard when this happened. and also kind of died inside a bit. mostly because his phrasing is hilarious (it's my twitter header for a reason) but also because i think this really gets at the major miscommunication that's going on between them right now: jisung is like, if you aren't consistently verbally telling him that you care about him and want to spend time with him he's going to come to conclusions on his own ("oh i guess chenle doesn't want to do this anymore") whereas chenle will never say anything ever (as usual) but expect no consequences/nothing to change

no. 2
"i took care of you a little too, but you also took care of me a lot"

who said it: chenle
context: 2021 hot sauce digital booklet messages — they've translated it as "i looked after you, but you also did for me, so thank you" but that loses the nuance of "a little" vs "a lot" (좀 vs 많이) which is so incredibly important here T___T
commentary: i mean yeah… this_kills_the_man.jpg him being aware of the difference (as can be kind of seen played out right now wrt jisung's nagging during chenle's injury & COVID situation because seriously what is this) is so touching to me because he never really acknowledges that care usually and jisung is always so quiet about it, so :')
bonus: jisung's message for chenle is also very this_kills_the_man.jpg but then again when is he not like that

no. 1
"don't give up on me, i'll end up getting hurt"

who said it: chenle
context: 2021 chenij's this and season 2 ep 8 (making rice paper tteokbokki) — the conversation goes
jisung: "i love cheese"
chenle: "no one asked" [peeking to see reaction]
jisung: "don't worry you're always like that"
chenle: "i guess you gave up"
jisung: "i gave up now"
chenle: "don't give up on me! have hope"
jisung: [laughs] "i haven't heard that in a while"
chenle: "don't give up on me i'll end up getting hurt" [laughs] "i do all the mean things, then i end up getting hurt"
jisung: "right"
chenle: "doesn't that mean i'm nice? "
jisung: "does it?"
chenle: "i do mean things but i get hurt by them"
jisung: …?
commentary: sorry to transcribe so much but i have no idea how to verbalize how crazy this conversation makes me feel except to write it out so that you too can hopefully feel as crazy as i do. and if that still hasn't worked then here's the video of it. BUT IT'S LIKE… chenle is always constantly trying to get a reaction out of jisung and that mostly manifests through insults because he's stupid (i say this with love). so for him to admit that he NEEDS the reaction because he WANTS jisung's attention is seriously soooooooo much to see. like wow you are such a loser <3 (again i say this with love!) AND THEN HE IMMEDIATELY FLIPS IT AROUND SO THAT JISUNG'S THE LOSER NOW? CHENLEEEEEE YOU ARE SO YOU THAT IT HURTS!!!!! and i don't even want to think about the implication that this isn't the first time... you're telling me chenle has already said this before???

closing thoughts: these were surprisingly easy to dig up and way more heartfelt than i was expecting them to be. in the process though i stumbled across like five more jisung quotes that i forgot to include the first time around and so in the end it is always going to be jisung more expressive through words chenle more expressive through actions… but that’s why i like them so much <3

since they are now in their estrangement era hopefully they can Stop Saying Things and i can be done with this series for good. it is time i move onto actual meta… OR GO BACK TO WRITING FIC ACTUALLY!

don't want to write another depressing post about how this semester is going for me so instead have some casual consumerism <3

MORNING

CLEANSER: N/A — i actually just splash my face with water now. i could definitely use a cleanser in the morning just fine but i don't really see the point in washing off last night's moisturizer when i'm just going to be putting on more moisturizer anyway?

TONER: hada labo gokujyun lotion moist — this stuff is literally MAGICAL!!! when i was using the muji toner i didn't really see the point in toner because i thought i was kind of just slapping a bunch of water on my face. this stuff is thicker so it has more slip and it hydrates soooooo well. like this is genuinely HG for me.

ESSENCE: cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin power essence — everyone and their mother has used this before so i won't say much just that it pairs so nicely with the toner and is working wonders for me.

MOISTURIZER: laneige water bank moisture cream — got this as a sample praying that i wouldn't end up liking it because it's so expensive and thankfully i DON'T. the smell is so strong and it doesn't even do anything. it actually irritated my skin, which is truly remarkable because my skin never gets irritated by anything. using it up as my extremely expensive hand lotion right now and it isn't even succeeding in that... so that should tell you enough.

MOISTURIZER: round lab mugwort calming cream — looooove this stuff. i like gel moisturizers so much more than cream ones so this pudding texture is perfect to me <3 it has a slightly medicinal/herbal scent which i assume is from the mugwort but it doesn't bother me. seriously feels like splashing water on my face :')

SUNSCREEN: missha aqua sun gel — this stings a little bit going on but the finish is as matte as everyone says it is and it does the job so i can't really complain. i actually like the previous missha sunscreen i had better, even though that finish was more shiny.

NIGHT

OIL CLEANSER: kose softymo white cleansing oil — i mean this is a pretty basic cleansing oil. it did its job but i wasn't a fan of the scent (like this super fake lemon citrus scent, and this is coming from someone who is #citrus_scent_luvr_69) and i also didn't like the film that it left behind :/

OIL CLEANSER: kose softymo speedy cleansing oil — VERY glad i tried a different kose cleansing oil because i like the speedy version so much more. it's a lot thinner so it feels nicer going on, doesn't have a scent, and doesn't leave a film behind. it struggles a bit to get my waterproof mascara off but i can't really fault it for that. [eta: never mind it gets off waterproof mascara fine i was just using it wrong]

CLEANSER: b.lab matcha hydrating foam cleanser — this stuff smells soooo good and gets off any of the kose speedy oil left behind for sure. like it's just perfect in every way.

ACTIVE: cosrx bha blackhead power liquid — somehow i became convinced that i needed a BHA instead of an AHA but i didn't want anything too intense because i don't get acne really so i chose this... and i like that it's gentle and it does everything i wanted it to, but i think AHA is better for me.

TONER: hada labo gokujyun lotion moist

ESSENCE: cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin power essence

MOISTURIZER: barr centella calming barrier cream — this is a pretty basic moisturizer. it's thick and worked great for winter. i don't have any complaints it's just objectively kind of boring.

MOISTURIZER: laneige water sleeping mask — got this as a sample too and i'm genuinely mad that i like it so much because i would never buy this thing at full price. this is what i thought the water bank cream would be like... it's a light gel that sinks in really nicely.

UP NEXT

OIL CLEANSER: heimish all clean balm — going to give cleansing balms another shot and this one was cheaper than the banila one so i went for it.

OIL CLEANSER: bifesta eye makeup remover — i don't wear eye makeup that much (or even makeup, point-blank) but i really want to make sure that when i do i can get it all off, and this has rave reviews so i'm hopeful it works.

CLEANSER: round lab mugwort calming cleanser — nothing is wrong with the b.lab matcha one i'm just shopping around... and since i like the cream so much i figured i'd try the cleanser too.

TONER: hada labo shirojyun lotion moist — this is supposedly thinner than the gokujyun so i'm not a fan of that, but i want to give it a try because i do want to incorporate something that brightens... and i didn't like the TO niacinamide so tranexamic acid seems to be the way to go.

MOISTURIZER: illiyoon ceramide ato soothing gel — this looks like a cheap gel moisturizer so i'm sincerely praying that this works out for me because then it'll easily be my go-to.

MOISTURIZER: a'pieu good night water sleeping mask — laneige water sleeping mask dupe... i am coming for you!!!

SUNSCREEN: kose suncut UV perfect gel — i just want a cheaper sunscreen. hopefully the alcohol isn't too much of an issue.

SUNSCREEN: nivea sun water gel — ^^ same as above

this is not the august 2021 media round-up post that i should be working on, but it's what you're going to get because i do what i want <3

(i promise i will get there eventually though)

BACKGROUND

i never did ANYTHING to my face except let it get wet whenever i showered for like... the first nineteen years of my life. then i started college and realized the lengths that everyone put into their appearances on the daily and was like "oh no... i have to do that TOO!" and so i have been researching and shopping around ever since.

part of the reason why i never did anything for so long was because i'm pretty lucky: my skin type is normal, i get a pimple maybe once or twice a year, and i'm not allergic or sensitive to any ingredients (that i know of).

i DID think i had fungal acne at first though because i got some closed comedones and sent a picture to my friend like "ummm what the hell is this" and she went "OH I HAVE THE SAME THING!" and then sent me a million links. in reality, i got those CCs because i was using a many-years-expired bottle of glossier milky jelly cleanser. so i took a lot of care to make sure my routine was FA safe at first—the only thing here that isn't is the oil cleanser (because oils are naturally not really FA safe). now that i know that i DON'T have to worry about that i can try all sorts of fun new stuff :') anyway let's go!

MORNING

WATER-BASED CLEANSER: cetaphil gentle skin cleanser — the only reason i'm using this thing is because my mom bought a gigantic value pack of it from costco. it's not awful by any means, but because it's so gentle i feel like it isn't doing all that much for me, and also it feels like rubbing watery lotion all over your face.

TONER: muji light toning water moisture — i wanted to try the high moisture version but couldn't find it in store, so i settled on this instead. this is pretty basic and light; it kind of feels like i'm just patting water onto my face. i usually do two layers and then leave it at that because i don't really have the patience (or time) to do more.

SERUM: the ordinary niacinamide 10% + zinc 1% — the same friend who thought i had fungal acne gave me this because she said it helped with hers. no clue how true that is but niacinamide is supposed to brighten your face/control sebum production/improve skin texture anyway, but in my usage of it i'm finding that it isn't... really doing that. it's definitely not doing anything BAD for my skin but i don't think it's doing anything special either. it just feels like a gloopy layer of hydration. also it keeps foaming up in conjunction with the muji toner, and i think that's getting in the way of it doing things too.

MOISTURIZER: benton aloe propolis soothing gel — this is light and basic, goes on easily, and is good for the summer. it leaves me quite glowy because it's so dewy, which i'm not the biggest fan of, but that does fade with time.

SUNSCREEN: missha essence sun milk — i really like this sunscreen :') it spreads easily, absorbs easily, feels hydrating, doesn't sting my eyes, and doesn't leave a white cast. my only complaint is that it leaves me looking a bit oily (fades after like 10 minutes), which isn't a dealbreaker but is slightly annoying.

NIGHT

OIL-BASED CLEANSER: the inkey list oat cleansing balm — bought this because it was cheap and it came in a TUBE PACKAGING! i hate the little tubs and scoopers that balms usually seem to come with so i was pretty excited for this. and it works fine—it gets makeup off (including waterproof mascara) and doesn't sting my eyes. however it does have a tendency to separate in the tube, which is a little annoying, and also it leaves a film on my face afterward. it's okay, since i'm double-cleansing anyway, but it's still not my favorite :/

WATER-BASED CLEANSER: cetaphil gentle daily cleanser

TONER: muji light toning water moisture

SERUM: the ordinary niacinamide 10% + zinc 1%

ACTIVE (2x a week): the ordinary lactic acid 10% + HA — this is the first exfoliator i've ever used so i don't really have anything to compare it to, but i like it quite a bit! it's gentle and it leaves my cheeks feeling REALLY soft the next morning. i'm purging a little bit on my nose from it but i'm pretty happy overall :')

MOISTURIZER: benton aloe propolis soothing gel

CURRENTLY TESTING/UP NEXT

OIL-BASED CLEANSER: kose softymo white cleansing oil — i want to make the switch to cleansing oils because they’re cheaper than balms and i hate the tub packaging that balms usually come in. kose is a standard one so i figured i’d test run the white version once i finish up my current oil cleanser and then see which one of the three fits best (since white is supposed to be in the middle).

WATER-BASED CLEANSER: b.lab matcha hydrating foam cleanser — i’m using this right now instead of the cetaphil and so far i looooove it :') it foams up so nicely (idk if that's good or special but it's satisfying to me) and the matcha smell is really good. plus it does a good job of getting rid of all the oil from the balm without stripping my skin, which is exactly what i want it to do.

ESSENCE: cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin power essence — patch testing this on my arm right now and it's definitely making it softer/smoother—i’m hopeful that this works because it seems to be fairly standard and i think it’ll 100% be more hydrating than a toner, which i’m hoping to phase out of my routine because i don’t think i really need one to begin with.

MOISTURIZER: barr centella calming barrier cream — i have yet to test this; i’m saving it for winter because it’s supposed to be really thick and hydrating. i don’t know if i NEED the thickness but i figured i’d try it out! centella is an ingredient i want to test anyway.

SUNSCREEN: missha aqua sun gel — i really like missha’s sunscreens so i’m going to test run their entire line and see which one i like best. this one is supposed to be mattifying so fingers crossed that that’s the case!

think we should abolish ship names and go back to the tumblr days when all the ship tags were like “otp: [quote of something they said to each other]”
— cait 🦋 (@rodrigoswifts) January 17, 2021

when i first saw the tweet above i quote-retweeted saying "the way that i would never be able to pick a tag bc jisung literally does not know how to repress." on a totally unrelated note i finally cleaned out my twitter bookmarks for manifesto purposes and now i am going to do just that—try and pick a tag <3

believe it or not this is the pared-down version

no. 20
"i have to protect chenle-hyung"

who said it: jisung
context: 2017 we young era, nct night night — he says this at the end of the radio, when they're asking about how this broadcast was compared to the first duo one that they did back in may. the full quote of it is: "back then i had to protect chenle-hyung but now he's good on his own."
commentary: they agreed to drop honorifics back during mfal era but jisung still slipped up sometimes during we young era too. here it's like he's emphasizing that even though chenle's older he's the one protecting him... heh?

no. 19
"gently, like i’m handling chenle"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 chenji's this and that season 1 ep 21 (making dalgona coffee) — when making the coffee you have to pour the dalgona on top carefully so that it doesn't sink to the bottom, and when jisung goes to pour his that's what he says.
commentary: ummm. no words. sorry this quote is just so tender and it came out of nowhere... it really is true though i feel like jisung is always so conscious of their size difference/the way that chenle has no regard for his image whatsoever and has taken it upon himself to rectify that.

no. 18
"why do you love me?"

who said it: jisung
context: 2018 huya live — chenle excitedly leans over to say "i love you" (he's reading a comment) but jisung doesn't realize that so he asks why.
commentary: UM. the way that he genuinely wanted an answer and chenle was so flustered afterward... okay.

no. 17
"watch my videos instead of curry’s"

who said it: jisung
context: 2019 fanmeeting — chenle's reading the anonymous TMIs that the members wrote about him and reads this one out. jeno immediately goes "that's jisung's" and jisung says "how did you know?"
commentary: i feel like it's pretty obvious that jisung's more blatant about jealousy whereas chenle will deny it until he dies (like he does with literally everything. help) but this one is just so blatant wtf. just say you want his attention and go.

no. 16
"i'm fixing all of his bad habits one by one"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 duo vlive (🐭🐬 One Second) — chenle keeps biting his nails and jisung keeps trying to get him to stop, then turns to the camera and says this.
commentary: same sentiment as the coffee one... i don't know there's just something about jisung (careful, actually has an image) trying to keep chenle (disaster, PR nightmare) in line that is so good.

no. 15
"you’re a flower so you can’t wither"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 duo vlive (🐭🐬 One Second) — jisung reads out a comment asking if chenle's drunk water that day, and when chenle answers that he hasn't he goes and says this.
commentary: he is so cheesy sometimes that it is unreal. like this is ripped straight from idol fanservice 101... every time i see this i'm reminded of that twt edit someone made of him being a huge flirt. like yeah underneath all the blustering he DOES have the confidence sometimes huh.

no. 14
"i could only see chenle"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 vlive w/renjun (RJ😖) — they talk about the kbs song festival performance that all of nct did barring jisung (who had to sit out because of his injury), and jisung says this in reference to chenle's um... unique dancing during the misfit stage.
commentary: within context this quote makes total sense because like chenle was truly just vibing then but also it's like @/jisung we already know.

no. 13
"you are aegyo itself"

who said it: jisung
context: 2018 vlive w/jungwoo and lucas (Park & Zhong’s Consultation) — chenle has to do aegyo and jisung's telling him that he can do it, then says that.
commentary: the way that this is just one of many instances of this quote... i find it so funny because chenle sucks at aegyo.

no. 12
"i like it whenever i’m with chenle"

who said it: jisung
context: 2017 we young era fansign — the conversation goes:
fan: jisung do you like using a room with chenle?
jisung: i like it whenever i'm with chenle
fan: [can you give] specifics?
chenle: you like me?
commentary: i'm losing it at chenle's "you like me?" like help. you are so oblivious it is unreal.

no. 11
"of course he likes me better"

who said it: jisung
context: 2019 boom era vlive w/haechan, jaemin, and jisung ([BOOM!] 🤴&🐹&💚&☀️시즈니와 함께 애프터눈 티타임☕️) — haech calls chenle and asks whether he likes him or jisung better, and chenle goes "i don't like EITHER of you." after hanging up jisung scoffs and says that.
commentary: love to see the CONFIDENCE! even if it is just in response to haech's own. @/jisung you can be arrogant about this. as a treat <3

no. 10
"is it just that i like chenle?"

who said it: jisung
context: one of his voice vlives... i wish i knew which one — he's talking about his reaction to one of their songs and he goes "i liked all of chenle's parts—why? is it just that i like chenle? ah, that must be it."
commentary: UM. sorry i am kind of losing it you can't just say things like that... that is so. heart on sleeve.

no. 9
"why is chenji’s this and that so funny is this being blinded by love or is it because chenle is a little bit cute"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 bubble update — jisung sends it after chenji's this and that season 2 ep 1 comes out.
commentary: chenle did nothing particularly cute during that episode (and i say this as someone whose favorite is chenle) so um. jisung you are down bad.

no. 8
"teasing jisung is a way of saying that i like him"

who said it: chenle (finally 😭)
context: 2020 chenle's birthday vlive (Happy Birthday) — a fan asks him when he'll stop teasing jisung and he answers with this.
commentary: okay this is so like. first of all i know that the comment was in chinese so he answered as such but i find it so funny that chenle only says nice things about jisung in ways that jisung will never know about (on chenra in chinese, on weibo lives in chinese, etc) and then turns around like "you are so stupid" like. @/chenle you are allowed to have feelings sometimes it's okay. sorry that aside this quote literally summarizes his entire personality... he is seriously so twelve-year-old boy (especially with all the denial) in his pigtail-pulling. the reason why there are literally no chenle quotes in this post is because all of HIS quotes about jisung sound like they're from a jisung-anti who's really bad at being a jisung-anti.

no. 7
"this is really fate"

who said it: jisung
context: 2016 chewing gum era iqiyi interview — he gets asked about their soulmate backstory (a quick rundown for anyone who doesn't know: chenle and jisung first met at a children's festival in china in 2012, later debuted in the same group together under sm without knowing that it was the other person, and were later told by fans) and has this to say about it.
commentary: this is the first of many quotes about the predebut lore... i simply have to. textbook soulmatism/straight out of a drama/etc etc.

no. 6
"i was wondering if i’d meet him again"

who said it: chenle
context: 2021 hot sauce era comeback show — they're talking about the soulmate backstory and chenle reveals that when he first came to korea to join sm jisung was the only korean person he'd met and so he thought of him.
commentary: this literally happened four days ago and i'm still not over it. like what do you mean there's even MORE to the lore than what has already been said??? you were thinking of him when you came??????? [regina george voice] shut up. shut up!

no. 5
"i can’t forget the moment i saw you for the first time"

who said it: jisung
context: 2019 chenji's this and that season 1 ep 19 (first anniversary) — he just... kind of says it out of nowhere. (the reason is that their ipods had the same color). "we both realized that we had the same ipods. it was the first time that i said hello to you. we've come all this way since then."
commentary: yeah we are still on the predebut lore... i don't know what to say like!! there's just so much to it. this doesn't even get into all of it... and also jisung getting all sentimental and talking about their #growth up to that point... okay!!!! if you knew how i felt!!!!!

no. 4
"i’ll forgive you because it’s you"

who said it: jisung
context: 2019 chenji's this and that season 1 ep 19 (first anniversary) — they wrote letters/certificates to each other and chenle made a spelling error on his. when jisung sees it he goes "this was cute 'spilled' spelled wrong was cute ah... i'll forgive you because it's you."
commentary: i don't know this is just like. well isn't that kind of the entire summary of their relationship from jisung's point of view. i'm losing it.

no. 3
"because of you the sky is never dark now"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 ridin' era studio k boatta ep 11 w/nct dream — dream guested on a variety show and had to write poems about each other; this is a line from jisung's ("because of you the sky is never dark now / although it can be a little noisy, sometimes").
commentary: i feel so insane just thinking about this... everyone wrote such stupid poems for each other (jaemin's entire poem was just calling jisung's hair greasy or something) but jisung took his so seriously and wrote the most heartfelt thing out of nowhere on a VARIETY SHOW. like!!! i read the chinese translation of it and it's actually so poetic... this one is my favorite <3 there's a reason it's my twitter bio :')

no. 2
"thank you for always giving me the answer"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 dream show tour live album messages to each other — "when you tell me, 'then, you can just do it!' i immediately say 'right?!' thank you for always giving me the answer."
commentary: UM. i don't know this is kind of poetic too... to me this is about how chenle gives him confidence (because one of the biggest ways that they're opposites is the cautious/hesitant vs carefree/confident dynamic) and reassures him. like that's something that can actually be so personal.

no. 1
"but you have me"

who said it: jisung
context: 2020 ridin' era vlive (Ridin on the road💚) — this was done after their first win for the song.
jisung: after we got first place my family all contacted me
chenle: really? that's warm
jisung: but you have me
chenle: ...okay
commentary: finally at no. 1 T___T i don't know them relying on each other is nothing new but especially considering that chenle's family is all back in china and jisung saying that chenle has him in korea is just so like. al;skdfkladsf. sorry i literally do not know how to be normal about this.

tldr: i stand by what i said jisung literally does not know how to repress <3

edit (jun 6 2022): part two

(source)

unlike english-speaking fandoms or kfandom, which tend to name pairings by combining the names of members together (ex: markhyuck/맠동), cfans often come up with a single-character nickname for pairings so that non-shippers, who tend to look down on CP fans (couple fans), won't find them when they search the tag. these single-character names often have pretty unique meanings so i've done my best to list them all down below!

some pairings have other names (less commonly-used than the single-character ones) and fan names (names for the fans of the pairing themselves). if a pairing doesn't, it's either because they're not popular enough in cfandom to have one, or i just couldn't find it.

a quick disclaimer that i wrote this up for fun and am by no means an expert on any of this stuff, so please take everything with a grain of salt!

the names

🐯🦊 mark/renjun

single-character name: 典 (diǎn)
meaning/origin: 字典 (zì diǎn), dictionary, because they exchanged dictionary gifts—mark gave renjun an english dictionary for his birthday, and then renjun gave mark a chinese dictionary back for his birthday
other names: N/A
fan name: 典籍 (diǎn jí), means ancient documents

🐯🐶 mark/jeno

single-character name: 树 (shù)
meaning/origin: 圣诞树 (shèng dàn shù), christmas tree, because renjun once said that they looked like a christmas tree
other names: N/A
fan name: N/A

🐯🐻 mark/donghyuck

single-character name: 传 (chuán)
meaning/origin: taken from 凤凰传奇 (fèng huáng chuán qí), phoenix legend, which is the name of a famous singer/rapper duo in china. mark and donghyuck are also a singer/rapper duo (see: their billionaire cover) and thus they're called 传 in acknowledgement of such
other names: 船 (chuán), boat, because it has the same pinyin as 传
fan name: 传真机 (chuán zhēn jī), means fax machine. this is a play on words—solo fans tend to insult CP fans by calling them xx鸡 (jī, chicken, if the pairing is popular) or xx狗 (gǒu, dog, if the pairing isn't so popular). 机 (machine) has the same pinyin as 鸡, so CP fans poke fun at themselves by calling themselves xx机. thus mark/donghyuck fans call themselves 传真机

🐯🐰 mark/jaemin

single-character name: 链 (liàn)
meaning/origin: 手链 (shǒu liàn), bracelet, because mark gave jaemin a bracelet for his 20th birthday (coming-of-age)
other names: N/A
fan name: 链机 (liàn jī), which is just the single-character name with 机 tacked on at the end for the same reason that mark/donghyuck fans are called 传真机 (see above)

🐯🐬 mark/chenle

single-character name: 球 (qiú)
meaning/origin: 篮球 (lán qiú), basketball, refers to them being basketball bros
other names: N/A
fan name: N/A

🐯🐹 mark/jisung

N/A

🦊🐶 renjun/jeno

single-character name: 降 (jiàng)
meaning/origin: 天降 (tiān jiàng), to descend from the sky/love that came down from the sky. originates from this phrase "纵使竹马情深, 难抵天降意中人" that's pretty popular amongst cfans, which roughly translates to "even if childhood sweethearts (jeno/jaemin) are deeply in love, it's hard to resist the heavenly person/destined love (renjun)." it refers to how jeno and jaemin are childhood friends and how renjun joined SM much later on; the person who falls from the sky (renjun) does so because fate draws them to the other person (jeno). (sidenote: 竹马 (childhood sweethearts) and 天降 (destined love) aren't exclusive to nct—in general fandom too they're pitted as opposites against each other)
other names: N/A
fan name: N/A

🦊🐻 renjun/donghyuck

single-character name: 搜 (sōu)
meaning/origin: 搜美 (sōu měi), the words themselves literally mean "search beauty" but the pinyin sounds like soulmate (the real meaning behind the name), refers to how donghyuck once called renjun his soulmate
other names: N/A
fan name: N/A

🦊🐰 renjun/jaemin

single-character name: 镯 (zhuó)
meaning/origin: 手镯 (shǒu zhuó), bracelet, refers to the couple bracelets that jaemin bought renjun for his birthday
other names: 鞋 (xié), shoes, because they bought couple shoes together
fan name: 镯学家 (zhuó xué jiā), means bracelet (renjun/jaemin) scientists

🦊🐬 renjun/chenle

single-character name: 搞 (gǎo)
meaning/origin: to do (but with a slightly aggressive connotation), refers to chenle going "搞搞搞搞搞搞" at renjun during nct dream's mafia game (the entire clip is hilarious but the moment of chenle saying 搞x100 is here, at 0:54)
other names: 君臣仁乐 (jūn chén rén lè), means monarch renle (it's a clever way to rearrange their names while preserving the pinyin, and it also has a nice meaning), and 雷俊 (léi jùn), which is another way to combine their names together (léi from zhōng chén léi, a mispronunciation of chenle's name that fans like to use for fun, and jùn just from renjun's chinese name)
fan name: N/A

🦊🐹 renjun/jisung

single-character name: 瓶 (píng)
meaning/origin: 玻璃瓶 (bō lí píng), glass bottle, because of the glass bottle incident at the dorms (explained here)
other names: 糯米系 (nuò mǐ xì), sticky rice line, because renjun's nickname is injeolmi and jisung's nickname is mochi
fan name: 颗糥米团 (kē nuò mǐ tuán), means rice balls

🐶🐻 jeno/donghyuck

single-character name: 望 (wàng)
meaning/origin: full moon, because the moons on the days that the two of them were born form a full moon together
other names: N/A
fan name: 望仔 (wàng zǐ), means princes. it's a play on words: 王子 (wáng zǐ) means prince and sounds similar to 望仔

🐶🐰 jeno/jaemin

single-character name: 笃 (dǔ)
meaning/origin: 青梅竹马 (qīng méi zhú mǎ), childhood sweethearts, refers to jeno and jaemin being together since childhood because 竹马, or bamboo horses, are childhood toys (like how you might hold a broom between your legs and pretend you're riding a horse, in china kids tend to do that with bamboo stalks) and are often closely associated with childhood. cfans use 笃 because it's a combination of the 竹 radical and 马, so 竹马 becomes 笃
other names: 同 (tóng), same, because they entered the same company on the same day and debuted in the same subunit of the same group, etc etc
fan name: 笃机 (dǔ jī), for the same reason that mark/donghyuck fans are called 传真机 (see above), or dominos, because do(mino) = mino = min+no = jae(min) + je(no)

🐶🐬 jeno/chenle

single-character name: 叠 (dié)
meaning/origin: to fold, refers to how jeno's always draped over chenle like so
other names: N/A
fan name: 知识分子 (zhī shì fēn zǐ), intellectuals, because their actual cp name 诺乐 (nuò lè/nò lè) is similar to k(no)w(le)dge

🐶🐹 jeno/jisung

single-character name: 惹 (rě)
meaning/origin: a smashing together of their chinese names to form one character (the 若 comes from the 诺 of jeno's chinese name, 杰诺 (jié nò), and the 心 radical from the 志 of jisung's chinese name, 志晟 (zhì shèng))
other names: N/A
fan name: N/A

🐻🐰 donghyuck/jaemin

single-character name: 黏 (nián)
meaning/origin: 黏糊糊 (nián hú hú), sticky, because they both have a lot of aegyo and stick to the other members well
other names: 黏着 (nián zhuó) line, same meaning and reason as above
fan name: N/A

🐻🐬 donghyuck/chenle

single-character name: 烁 (shuò)
meaning/origin: a smashing together of their chinese names to form one character (the 火 radical comes from donghyuck's chinese name, 嗨灿 (hāi càn), and the 乐 is from chenle's 辰乐)
other names: N/A
fan name: 熊熊园丁 (xióng xióng yuán dīng), means bear gardeners

🐻🐹 donghyuck/jisung

single-character name: 钻 (zuān)
meaning/origin: a much more complicated smashing together of their chinese names to form one character (jisung's chinese name is 朴志晟 (pǔ zhì shèng), but fans also call him 智星 (zhì xīng) and from that he's nicknamed 星星 (xīng xīng), or star. cfans used the bottom half of 星 (生) and the 火 radical from donghyuck's chinese name, 嗨灿 (hāi càn) to make 生火 (shēng huǒ). 生火 means to start a fire, and in chinese culture there's a saying, 钻木取火 (zuān mù qǔ huǒ), which refers to a traditional chinese fire starting method. from that saying, cfans simplified it down to 钻. here's a much more concise explanation for chinese speakers: 星的下半部分是生, 灿的偏旁是火, 连起来是生火. 生火 = 钻木取火 = 钻)
other names: N/A
fan name: N/A

🐰🐬 jaemin/chenle

single-character name: 盐 (yán)
meaning/origin: salt, refers to how their names together spell out NaCl (Na from jaemin's last name, Cl from the shortened version of chenle), and NaCl is the chemical formula of salt
other names: 电闪雷鸣 (diàn shǎn léi míng), thunder and lightning, because the pinyin has léi from zhōng chén léi (a mispronunciation of chenle's name that fans like to use for fun) and míng is close to the mín of luō zāi mín (jaemin's chinese name in pinyin). also jokingly called 蕾哈娜 (lěi hā nà), or rihanna, because it sounds similar to 雷和娜 (léi hé nà, literally means léi and nà)
fan name: 磕盐人员/磕盐分子 (kē yán rén yuán/kē yán fèn zi) or salt (jaemin/chenle) officials/salt eaters

🐰🐹 jaemin/jisung

single-character name: 铺 (pù)
meaning/origin: 上下铺 (shàng xià pù), bunk beds, refers to all the anecdotes of them sharing a room and a bunk bed
other names: 明治 (míng zhì), meiji, because their names together, 民志 (mín zhì), sound similar to the chocolate brand, and also 床 (chuáng), which just means bed
fan name: N/A

🐬🐹 chenle/jisung

single-character name: 壳 (ké)
meaning/origin: 手机壳 (shǒu jī ké), phone case, refers to the stephen curry phone case that chenle gave jisung for his birthday
other names: N/A
fan name: 壳技人员 (ké jì rén yuán), which comes from 科技人员 (kē jì rén yuán), technicians, because 壳 and 科 sound similar, so 壳技人员 means phone case (chenle/jisung) technicians

some bonus ones

🐯🐻🐬 mark/donghyuck/chenle

name: coco 可乐 (kě lè)
meaning/origin: 可口可乐 (kě kǒu kě lè), coca cola. this is a really clever play on words—the pinyin of coca cola and coco 可乐 sounds very similar. coco is donghyuck, 可 is mark (kě, same pinyin as 克 from his chinese name, 李马克, lǐ mǎ kě), and 乐 is chenle (lè, from his chinese name, 钟辰乐, zhōng chén lè)

🦊🐶🐰 renjun/jeno/jaemin

name: 尾号三 (wěi hào sān)
meaning/origin: last number three, because the dates of all three of their birthdays end in 3 (3/23 for renjun, 4/23 for jeno, and 8/13 for jaemin)

🐶🐻🐰 jeno/donghyuck/jaemin

name: 笃立方 (dǔ lì fāng)
meaning/origin: includes donghyuck in the jeno/jaemin childhood sweethearts 竹马 bamboo horse narrative

🐶🐰🐬 jeno/jaemin/chenle

name: 叠叠乐 (dié dié lè)
meaning/origin: jenga, refers to how the three of them are often seen stacked on top of each other like jenga pieces

sources: one / two / three / four / general weibo supertopic trawling
as you can see, there are still some gaps in my knowledge so if you have any comments/suggestions feel free to comment down below and i'll update this post accordingly. thank you to di for reading this over, and thank you for reading :') i hope this was enjoyable, or informative, at the very least!

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thank you for always giving me the answer

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thank you for always giving me the answer

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